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Writer's Block: Love Is In The Air - AS IT HAPPENS

Sat, Sep. 1st, 2007

07:26 am - Writer's Block: Love Is In The Air

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Who was your first crush? What were they like?

I've always wondered why the term was "crush" anyway. Might any of you know where that comes from? It actually sounds like it involves cruelty of some kind, when in reality it refers to being attracted to someone.

I have a few amusing crush stories. Of course, most of them occurred when I was a child, young and innocent, and I seemed to desire any person with that soft, high voice. 50-year-old teachers? Absolutely! I remember I used to have dreams of what it would be like to go home with them and take the place of their husbands. Well hey, I was only 5! So it's not like that was going to happen anytime soon.

My first crush occurred way back in Kindergarten and lasted nearly five years until, well, she turned crazy. Her name was Barbara, and she was one of the only people who seemed to enjoy interacting with me. Everyone used to call her "fat girl" and pretty much stay away from her, in kids usual cruel way. I think she liked me because I accepted her unconditionally.

I guess I should have seen this coming. It was my fourth-grade year, and she and I were still in the same class. She liked to sit outside and play with her dolls, telling me that I was "the daddy" and I needed to help her keep the kids in line. She had three of them, all with strange, difficult to pronounce names.

I used to leave recess early to go back in the classroom and pack my things, because I rode the special bus that left school 15 minutes before the rest. She would walk with me, and on this particular day, she decided to get bold. As soon as we entered, she grabbed my hand, yanked me into the little locker thingy we used to store our stuff, and somehoe managed to press a chair to the door so that I couldn't escape. I'm fortunate that what happened next didn't result in my suspension, I suppose because it was clear that the incident had not been initiated by me. She pulled down her clothing and forced my finger into her private parts. Needless to say, that was the last time I interacted with her. I think she really did want me to be the daddy.

Of course, I've had subsequent crushes. There was the time, during the next school year, when I attempted to talk to the finest, most popular girl in our class. "I'll give you 10 cents to go away" she said. I mean 10 cents? I think I should have at least tried for more. Obviously, she didn't have the personality to match her looks.

Then there was a cutie named Amy my eith-grade year. I really did think I had a chance to make something happen with that. I still remember the note I wrote her on Valentines, in my simple eighth-grade script:

"Dear Amy,
I hope you have a happy Valentine's Day. Know that I like you a lot and am always thinking of you. Will you be my Valentine?"

My heart was banging in my chest as I removed the sheet of paper from that old, clanky electric typewriter and folded it to look something like a card. She sat right across from me in Math class, and as the closing bell sounded, I flicked the note towards her and quickly made for the door. "Aw John, you're so sweet!" I heard her say from somewhere behind my retreating form. Of course, this didn't actually result in anything happening between us, but it did leave me feeling giddy for the rest of that day.

I don't know if I still have crushes. Well, I guess there are some people who attract me with their words, what they reproduce on the page. But it is all too rare that I get to meet exciting, thought-provoking women in person, a situation I hope to remedy very soon.

And a related poll, one I've wanted to do for some time:
Poll #1048535 Relationships

How old were you when you started what counts as your first relationship?

12 or younger.
1(2.1%)
13-16.
18(38.3%)
17-20
16(34.0%)
21-24
7(14.9%)
25 or older.
0(0.0%)
I haven't really had one.
5(10.6%)

How long was your longest relationship?

6 months or less.
6(14.0%)
7-12 months.
3(7.0%)
13-18 months.
4(9.3%)
19-24 months.
3(7.0%)
25-30 months
4(9.3%)
31-36 months.
4(9.3%)
More than 36 months.
19(44.2%)

What is your current status?

Single
22(47.8%)
Dating, but nothing serious
4(8.7%)
In a commited relationship
12(26.1%)
Married
8(17.4%)
Divorced
0(0.0%)

Comments:

From:1jodie
Date:September 1st, 2007 01:03 pm (UTC)
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the incident with your first crush Barbara made me sad. i wonder if she was physically abused as a child because that's the type of behavior one sees in a child sexually abused. they sometimes become hypersexual and think that's the way to get people to like them. it's very sad. sorry--one of my previous jobs was working at a place that did therapy with children that were abused.
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From:johnmill79
Date:September 1st, 2007 02:24 pm (UTC)
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Oh I agree, as I got older it occurred to me that that was very possible. Her whole life seemed to revolve around sex and having children. Probably saw lots of it at that young age.
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From:1jodie
Date:September 1st, 2007 03:59 pm (UTC)
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so sad.

and at the same time, i hope the incident with her didn't scar you too much.
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From:browneyedgirl65
Date:September 1st, 2007 08:03 pm (UTC)
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That was exactly my thought too. It's very sad to see things passed on in this way. I do hope that if there was any investigation after she attacked you, this was discovered and she got the help she needed. Well, one can hope.

Interesting topic. You can put me down in the "been there, done that, not worth it, happy to watch from the sidelines" column ;-)
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From:johnmill79
Date:September 1st, 2007 09:43 pm (UTC)
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I don't really know if it was investigated. I never heard anything further.
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From:artfuldodger
Date:September 1st, 2007 01:05 pm (UTC)
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*note about question #2: I'm still in that relationship, so it hasn't ended, and so I expect it to go on for much longer. :)
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From:johnmill79
Date:September 1st, 2007 02:25 pm (UTC)
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Haha, I was trying to think of a way to include such an option!
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From:italian_brawd
Date:September 1st, 2007 02:29 pm (UTC)
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loved this post.

Great read.

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From:johnmill79
Date:September 1st, 2007 03:04 pm (UTC)
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Thanks! I appreciate that.
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From:imafarmgirl
Date:September 1st, 2007 03:49 pm (UTC)
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Wow, what an experience with that girl in the closet! Jeez. Horrible.

Relationships can be so hard. I never meet anyone either.
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From:johnmill79
Date:September 1st, 2007 04:05 pm (UTC)
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Yeah, that kinda traumatized me for a bit, but I guess it's like someone else said, I never know what was going on in her home. I hope she doesn't have a lot of kids by now, but I imagine she does.

And they can definitely be hard. You gotta find somebody you can halfway stand, which in my experience has been a tall order! lol
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From:jennelle137
Date:September 1st, 2007 05:09 pm (UTC)
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I think everyone continues to have crushes, even after you find the person you want to marry or commit to. It's just a matter of recognizing what they are and not letting fleeting crushes become more than they should be.
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From:johnmill79
Date:September 1st, 2007 08:01 pm (UTC)
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Absolutely! I mean, you can't completely shut off those attractive juices. But as you saw with one of mine, often the crushes don't really have what you want in a long-term mate anyway. Which is why I'm trying to tell myself to really make an effort to get to know my potential partner first.
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From:reve119
Date:September 1st, 2007 05:21 pm (UTC)
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The incident that happened with Barbara literally made me gasp.

Amy's valentine was cute. I've never really had a Valentine, so I wouldn't mind getting a note like that from someone now, lol.
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From:johnmill79
Date:September 1st, 2007 08:06 pm (UTC)
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Yeah, I've always been so painfully shy. Here's another incidentthat occurred during my senior year of high school. Oh, that one was me truly dropping the ball! I like to think I'm a bit better than that now. lol
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From:trueakitalover
Date:September 1st, 2007 07:55 pm (UTC)
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I can't believe that really happened in the closet with you. She sounded like she might have been sexually abused or was it If you show me your's I will show you mine but since she knew John can't see she wanted to see his maybe? It is really hard to say that is a very young age for that to happen at. I think the Amy with the Valentine was so sweet and cute for it to happen with John. If you ever meet John you guys would love him he does have a great personality, he is very laid back and easy going. He doesn't seem to get mad that often. John has been bitten in the head before though.
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From:johnmill79
Date:September 1st, 2007 08:07 pm (UTC)
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Yeah, my mean ol cousin bit me in the head! lol But I've gotten him back many times now.
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From:trueakitalover
Date:September 1st, 2007 08:15 pm (UTC)
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How have you gotten him back he was telling Davain and I about that yesterday in the car and I thought it was kinda funny actually. He said you really cried hard from it. He said your sisters and neighbors were trying to pull you two apart. I just couldn't believe he did that he said he was like 9 years old when that happened that was so mean of him to do that to you.
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From:trueakitalover
Date:September 1st, 2007 08:00 pm (UTC)
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I bet you all didn't know this about John he is the first pregnant man also on the planet Earth... He told this to me last night. He said he is going to be in the world record and make lots of money from it. Ladies it is time to jump on John and he can pick a lady to marry since he is going to carry the child for the next nine months. I don't think he could deal with. Imagine a man with the swollen boob's and all the problems they do have. I magine a man going through cravings for ice cream and pickles lol.... They have weird eating habits some of them do. He said he will erase this so oh well for nothing.
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From:adamant_turtle
Date:September 4th, 2007 01:33 am (UTC)
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You know, I never thought about the origins of the word crush in relation to a love interest...but I became intrigued upon your mentioning it. I just Googled it now, and managed to learn that the first usage of the word in that context dates back to the 1880s. But I couldn't seem to find any WHY behind it...hmm. Maybe because the feelings are often as sudden and intense as being physically crushed? *shrugs*
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From:johnmill79
Date:September 4th, 2007 04:23 am (UTC)
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That's neat. I couldn't even think of a way to google the question. lol I think we use all sorts of words like that without really thinking of their origins. I've always been interested in odd stuff like that, though.
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From:adamant_turtle
Date:September 4th, 2007 04:11 pm (UTC)
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Usually, if you look up the word with "idioms" or "etymology," that's what'll work.

I just overall enjoy language, so I have a few different idiom sites bookmarked; you might like looking at IdiomSite.com for starters. It's fun just to browse.
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