It was a Friday afternoon, and I was unwinding in our on campus residence dining hall. The young lady across the table from me leaned in closer. In a conspiritorial whisper, she said "so, what are you doing this weekend?" Replying in that same tone, I said "I'm gonna get arrested." Isn't it funny how prophetic our words can be when we least expect it?
So Saturday comes in, crisp, automnal, and full of falling leaves and wind. My cousin and a group of his blind friends decide they want to throw a random party in our dorm, because college kids enjoy such things, right?
What's a party without the alcohol and the, well, contraband? I was the only person of age to actually make drink purchases, so despite my aversion to the stuff, I was sent into the alphabet store to obtain the goods. They bought no less than ten bottles.
At the counter, my guide and I were asked to display our Id's. "Oh, I'm not 21," she stammered. "Well, only people 21 and up are allowed in this store!" the cashier bellowed. "Next time, make sure your helper is old enough."
That minor indignity out of the way, we piled back into the car and headed over to the dorm in which I and the person hosting the party stayed. Of course, I had to sign everyone in at the front desk and lay claim to all that liquor. "Now," the lady said with an evident smile on her face, "I know that ain't all your alkyhol. I've never even seen you drink anything." "Uh, yes it is. It's mine." I knew I was turning red, but fortunately she didn't press me any harder on this.
Having no intention of joining the party, I headed up to my room, turned on the World Series baseball game between the Arizona Diamondbacks and the New York Yankees, and flopped across the bed. After a while, though, I recalled that I would be held responsible if anything bad happened, so I decided I'd better head down and make sure all was ok.
Unfortunately, as soon as I got to the room, I discovered that things had taken a turn for the worst. One of our friends stood over her trash can, tossing everything she'd eaten and drank that day and the day before. Now, the situation would have been commical if she weren't in such grave danger, because she kept demanding that we supply her with chocolate chip cookies and complaining that "my heart is about to burst!"
Realizing that we could no longer handle this ourselves, we finally decided to dial 911. Now, we had this vindictive individual who wanted badly to get my cousin in some big trouble. She'd heard that he and someone else were headed outside to buy a joint from another dorm resident, and as we lingered in the room speaking with what we thought were paramedics, she conveyed this information to the police.
Because they realized that most of our party was blind or visually impaired they began talking in hand signals, strategizing on which set of actions they would take next. We would have been none the wiser, except that my cousin's girlfriend pulled him into the hall and informed him of what was going on.
I kind of started the chase. I found it odd that they kept asking the young lady who was sick how old she was, even though she, and we, continually assured them that she was of legal drinking age. Smelling a rat, I decided to inch out and head back up to my room, because hey! I hadn't done anything!
As soon as I set foot in the hallway, one of the individuals carrying the drugs said "I'm going with him, I have to use the bathroom." The cops, seeing this as their chance to act, said "get 'em!" and we were off.
I think I banged my knee pretty good on the railing as I tore up the stairs in a frantic attempt to get into my room unquestioned. Of course, this was to no avail. "Uh sir, we're gonna have to search your room" the cop closest to me said. "If you have some marijuana on you, I'd suggest that you tell me up front. Lot less trouble that way." Trembling from head to toe, I said "I don't have anything, and I've never had it." "Alright, I'm just saying. You'd better not be lying to me!" I was mostly nervous, because my cousin had been playing with the joint in my room. I was afraid he might have forgotten it on my drawer or something, but fortunately, I came up clean.
Nothing actually happened to any of us. The other cops stood back and allowed my cousin and his friend to enter the bathroom, where they promptly disposed of the illegal goods in the toilets. We were an easy catch if they'd wanted to take us in, but I think it was mostly just good for a laugh to them. Who would've thought a bunch of blind boys would be tearing through a college dorm in a vain attempt to escape the police? And of course, every door on that hall flew open, as all those nosy kids had to get a view of this unusual spectacle.
I saw one of the cops who had been on the scene sometime later, a big, solid female. I think she really did think we'd drugged that girl in an attempt to do things to her, because the first question she asked me was "So, you still giving chocolate to the ladies?" I didn't bother answering.
The biggest lesson I learned from all of that was never to take responsibility of my cousin's parties. Even though I'd done absolutely nothing that night, well aside from purchasing the alcohol, I almost went down. I told the person to whom I had spoken on Friday what happened, and she was incredulous. I guess that'll be one for the grandkids, huh? Whenever we joke about it, we said "remember weed weekend?"